That’s What Friends are For

Periodically, we all face challenging situations. Obstacles, setbacks, and loses are a vital part of experiencing the fullness, and even the sweetness of life. Sometimes we are just not strong enough to get through these difficult times on our own. That is when a true friend will be your crutch, helping you get through it. It is nice to have the support of someone in your corner.

Friends can also be the first ones to notice changes in other friends. It may be a change in mood, certain behaviours, or in activities they previously enjoyed. You may have noticed that your friend seems to be tired all the time or easily irritated. Maybe they’ve stopped hanging out and spend more time alone. Sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint what’s different about them but generally you have a sense that something is wrong. Friends can pick up on something that is off – they know you almost as well as you know yourself.

Being a friend means being there when things are great and when things are not so great. Supporting a friend shows you care. And nothing is more important in a friendship than empathy and communication. When your friend is going through a difficult time, you must be able to convey your understanding, concern and support.

Here are some Dos and Don’ts when trying to help a friend.


  • Allow your friend to heal and seek you out when they are ready.
  • Offer advice if asked.
  • Listen to the entire situation before jumping to conclusions.
  • Provide a distraction to get your friend’s mind off the difficult situation.
  • Invite your friend out to socialize.
  • Help your friend with things they need.


  • Force your friend to open up.
  • Offer unsolicited advice.
  • Rely on gossip or incomplete information to assess the situation.
  • Badger your friend with repeated calls, texts, and emails. Sometime they need to be alone.
  • Make the situation about you by comparing.
  • Use guilt to force your friend into socializing with you.
  • Try to run your friend’s life.

To nurture your friendships:

  • Accept yourself. Cultivate a healthy, realistic self-image.
  • Accept others. Don’t judge. Allow your friends the space they need to grow, change and make mistakes.
  • Be positive.
  • Don’t compete.
  • Listen up. Pay attention to what is happening in their life.
  • Respect boundaries. Keep confidential any personal information that is shared with you.

Be there for your friend during their difficult period, because you will want them there for you when you need them!

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Fighting the Green-eyed Monster

Over the past 50 years society has changed in so many ways and some aspects of our lives have change rapidly. With the invention of new technology to make our lives easier and to improve communication, we’ve actually created an environment of unhealthy competition and jealousy. It’s so much easier now to compare ourselves with the Jones’ and not just the Jones’ in our neighbourhood but around the world. Jealousy can affect us in many ways. We can show signs of jealousy to our partners if they are talking to someone of the opposite sex. Jealousy can be found in the workplace when a co-worker achieves advancement before you or gets recognition for a project you both worked on. We can also be jealous of our friends and neighbours who have bigger houses, fancier cars or take nicer holidays.

For those who are under the spell of this green-eyed monster, jealousy is a feeling that can affect many other emotions and in turn your decision making ability. It can cause feelings of anxiety and discomfort. Jealousy not only impacts the individuals who feel it, but also those around them. Even if they attempt to conceal their jealousy, it inevitably comes out in the way they treat others and in the long run can ruin relationships.

The fundamental approach to conquering jealousy is understanding the reason behind it. Usually, jealousy comes down to low self-confidence and insecurities. Jealousy is typically caused by internal feelings and not by the actions of those around you, so it’s important to work on your emotions and thoughts to find the root of your insecurities. If you’re jealous of your partner’s relationships with other people is it because someone in your past cheated making it hard for you to trust people? Have you been passed up for promotions at work before, which is now creating an insecurity in your current position? In both these cases it was something from your past that’s causing the current feelings of jealousy. Not all situations are similar and people are all different, although you should always learn from past experiences they may not always repeat themselves.

If you are intent on finding a solution to your jealous tendencies, one option is to visit with a therapist or a hypnotherapist for treatment. With hypnosis or counseling, your counselor will be able to break through the barriers that are preventing you from seeing the positives in a situation. Negative feelings caused by past experiences can create jealous behaviour. They have the ability to delve into the negative blocks that are lodged in your subconscious and ease them out until your free of them. Once you’ve removed your negative thinking you’ll find that you will have fewer insecurities which will have a positive impact of your self-esteem.

With fewer insecurities and higher self-esteem, envious feelings will disappear. Once the green-eyed monster is gone it’s easier to promote healthy and trusting relationships with those around you.

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